Sunday, March 3, 2013

An oldie but a goodie...


I have a huge head. Not as a result of an overactive ego, just a physically large head. Seems ironic and cruel that I love hats so much; I seem to be on a never ending quest to find a cute, stylish ladies’ hat that actually fits my head. Perhaps this is why I tend to take on so many projects: I want to figuratively “wear many hats”. My list of commitments seems overwhelming to most: stay-at-home-mom to three kids (although, we’re never actually at home), PTO Co-President, leadership representative with a direct sales company, board member, committee member, volunteer, fundraiser. I imagine each one of these as a different hat; some are bright with big feathers, others are more subdued. Perhaps my hardest earned hat is that of “advocate”; my oldest son has Down syndrome. This hat goes from conservative and understated to colorful and wild, depending on the day.

I advocate for my son so many levels. I work with his school to ensure he receives the proper education in an inclusive setting. I oversee his community activities to make sure he is treated as all the other children are treated. I watch him like a hawk on the playground or even in our neighborhood to make sure the other kids are including him in their games. As he gets older, I know it won’t get any easier; my advocacy efforts will focus on workplace equality, or making sure there is a place for him in continuing education opportunities. Sometimes I do these things gracefully and with a calm demeanor, while other times I am “that mom” who ends up taking out all the day’s frustrations on whatever issue is closest at hand with the awkward gusto of an irritated elephant. Either way, I get my point across…eventually. I like to consider myself a “pick your battles” kind of girl, but when it comes to advocating for my son, I will get my way. Patience is a good byproduct of advocacy, but not an easy learned lesson. For every “no” I hear, I have to revamp my argument and efforts until that “no” becomes a “yes”. It can be exhausting. I will do it, every time, if I truly believe that whatever it is I am fighting for will help Alex in any way. Small change or huge impact, I will do it.

I imagine my advocacy “hat” to be slightly tattered, and not as fancy as my other “hats”, but it is by far my favorite. I wear it proudly, and every time I see my son’s smile or hear his laugh, it mends itself and gives me strength to take on my next battle. And battle I will; you can bet your hat on it.

2 comments:

  1. You are an amazing mom, not only to Alex but to Addie and Andrew as well. As John and I have said from the beginning, Alex has THE BEST parents given his Down syndrome since you and Mark have made all of us aware of the challenges and the need for change! I love you and so proud of you for your big, beautiful MOM hat! ;)

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