Jen vs Snowy Driveway

Yesterday and through last night, we had the biggest winter storm we've had around here in several years. Nothing remarkable, I suppose, but when it hasn't snowed much, even the four-ish inches of snow that fell seems to be a lot. Fortunately, our activities both last night and today were cancelled, leaving us the luxury of spending the day at home.

Doing chores, of course. It is still Saturday, after all.

I assigned the indoor chores to the kids, and I set out to tackle the snowy driveway. It was the perfect plan: I was getting out of cleaning up the kitchen mess, and I would get a break from the incessant sibling bickery that just would not stop this morning. I laced up my snow boots, pulled on my hat, adjusted my sunglasses, and grabbed the snow shovel. Although I was about to embark upon three things I don't really like (cold, snow, and exerting myself), I was ready.

With the first shovel full of snow, I was reminded that before the snow fell, there was freezing rain. A nice, frozen layer of yuck was hiding behind the clean, fluffy snow. My awesome plan of escaping the inside of the house was beginning to seem a bit lackluster.

I persevered, though, reminding myself how many steps my Fitbit would surely record, and also wondered if I could plug "snow shoveling" into my Weight Watchers app for even more Activity Points. After about 30 minutes, I stopped to check my Fitbit, and almost burst into tears right there on the sidewalk when I couldn't read the display. I thought the battery died and all my hard work was for naught. I rushed into the garage and tore off my glove to see if I could revive the Fitbit. Fortunately, between the bright sun, the glare of the snow, and my sunglasses, I just couldn't see the numbers. Everything was there, as it should be. I heaved a sigh of relief and trudged back down the driveway.

All in all, I spent an hour and a half chipping away at ice and removing snow from the driveway. A person has a lot of time to think while executing such a laborious task, and I found myself thinking:

"Why in the hell do we still live in Ohio?!"

"I wonder how my form is. Are the neighbors judging my form?"

"How long does it take for snot-sicles to completely freeze and fall off?"

"I should have the kids out here doing this, but then they would just throw snow everywhere and someone would cry. Probably me."

"I really should buy a snowblower. Then I could charge, like, $10 to clear a driveway. That thing would pay for itself in no time!!"

As stubborn as I am, I had to throw in the towel before all the snow was completely cleared. My arms were shaking, my nose was running, and I was sweating under my layers of fleece. I threw some salt down, said a quick prayer that my back wouldn't go out, and hoped that the work I had done would be enough to get my car out of the driveway tomorrow (and back in, for that matter!).

Next time, unless I follow through on that snowblower plan, I should just pay a neighborhood kid to do the driveway. Then, my arms wouldn't be all shaky and my back wouldn't be screaming in pain. Now, I wonder if I can pay someone to take down the stinking Christmas tree...

Until the next snow fall (which I hear will be Monday, ugh!), I will call this a victory. I got a ton of steps and activity points (well, maybe not a "ton," but a lot), I got some peace and quiet (sort of), and my kids did the dishes. Jen - 1, snowy driveway - 0.

New Year, New Goals

So, this is 2018. It seems fairly similar to what we left behind in 2017, but yeah, it's still pretty early. I won't write it off just yet, so no worries there.

As many of us do, I set some goals for this year but historically I'm not great with following through on resolutions. This year, though, I'm determined to stick to some fairly simple goals.

1. Stop eating like an unsupervised 12 year old
I am a stress eater; I own that 100%. Sometimes, I make really bad food choices (like the chocolate cake and mimosa I had before noon today). Too often, I tell myself that eating junk is ok because I need a release from all the stress and shenanigans I routinely face. But, that has resulted in ridiculous habits that just need to end. So, after seeing a bazillion commercials over Winter Break for Weight Watchers, I decided to sign up again. I've had great success with their plan in the past; it seems that I really need that visual point system to keep myself in check. Plus, apparently Oprah will now be my BFF and bring me tacos! Cool, right? Seriously, though, this is more about just losing weight; it's about feeling better about myself and finding other ways to deal with stress. Wish me luck!

2. Drink more water
If you know me at all, you know how I treasure my coffee. My coffee obsession (perhaps I should just say "caffeine obsession") has also become extreme, and I find that some days I fall terribly short of the recommended daily consumption of water. This year, I'm hoping to fix that. I have a giant two liter water bottle (it's all cute and turquoise!) to help me; again, I need that visual reminder! As an added bonus, this goal should help me with the first item on my list. If you can't find me this year, I'm probably in the bathroom trying not to pee my pants. (Hey, this is a legit concern if I really plan on drinking all this water!!)

3. Be more organized
Blah, blah, blah...isn't this goal on everyone's list? Maybe so. All I know is that too often, I find myself scrambling because I can't find a paper I need, or the kids' lunch cards need reloaded, or no one has clean underwear for the next day. I figure that a little extra planning ahead might remedy some of this. And, again, as an added bonus, more organization should keep me from stuffing my face with junk. (A girl can dream, anyway...)

4. Write more
I enjoy writing, and I'm told that my family has quite a story to share. I often forego my writing time in favor of just about anything else. In 2018, I'm hoping to change that. I also decided in 2017 to write that book that's been on my mind, but since then, I haven't really worked on it (other than drafting an outline and devoting many of my anxious, late night freak outs to it). We'll see what happens.

5. Keep working on kindness
There are always opportunities to be kind, teach kindness, and appreciate kind acts. This is something everyone can strive for, every day. I'll keep trying if you will.

I could probably add more to this list, but I'll stop here. What are you working on in 2018?

Why I Advocate

I've always been a quiet person (until you get to know me, I suppose), someone who would rather avoid confrontation than speak up and "cause trouble."

This all changed when I became part of the disability community 13 years ago, as the mother of an awesome kid with Down syndrome. With the birth of my son also came the birth of an advocate: me.

It wasn't an immediate change, as I still struggle of when and how to speak up, but in the last year I've definitely found myself more determined to have my voice heard. Not only have I advocated for my son, but I've gone beyond that to also share my concerns with elected officials in terms of federal and state issues that affect the Down syndrome community and the larger disability community. For the woman who hates phone calls, this was a huge leap outside of my comfort zone, but I did it anyway.

 Calling my Senator to share my thoughts about the proposed repeal of the ACHA, June 2017

I fought through nerves and feeling like I was too inexperienced to make a difference to call, email, fax (thanks, ResistBot!), and tag my elected officials on social media in order to be heard. Why, though? Why would this introverted mess put herself through all of this? How did this stressed out mother of three become an advocate? 

Because...

My head nearly explodes every time I hear someone drop the R-word.

Seriously, folks. It's 2018! Let's get it together. There are other words you can substitute instead of labeling something or someone as "retarded" when you truly mean "ridiculous." Fix it, please, but until you do, I will be here to correct you and let you know why your word choices are inappropriate. 

Others in my community don't understand.

A few months ago, when I was picking up one of my kids from school, another parent came flying in, irritated, and loudly proclaimed "Sorry I'm late, but a handicap bus took six freakin' minutes to unload and I was stuck there behind them!" Had I not been so busy biting my tongue to keep my initial reactions in check, I would have thanked that parent for their patience in allowing a student with a disability to safely get off their bus. But, I stood there, my left eyebrow grazing the ceiling, incredulous that someone would be that ignorant. In this instance, something that allows a child with a disability to safely travel to school was simply dismissed as a burden. So many times the disability community is overlooked because something that helps them could potentially be seen as an inconvenience to everyone else. I've seen this in education and workplace settings, and I'm sure it exists otherwise. It needs to stop, but until others realize that this type of behavior is not acceptable, it won't. Next time I find myself in this situation, I hope I will have enough grace and courage to politely engage and raise awareness. 

My son has the same rights as everyone else.

Until recently, most of my advocacy has centered around my own son and his inclusion at school. Inclusion is a tricky thing, as there is no "one size fits all" formula to enact it in our schools, churches, and workplaces. I am constantly striving to learn how to be a better advocate for my son so that he has the same opportunities as his non-disabled peers. Once his school years are complete, he has the right to to work and participate in his community as an adult, and lately, it seems that some of the supports that will aide him in this have been jeopardized. Although I had very little experience calling my congressmen, I picked up my phone and called to express my concern about this. I am very fortunate to have fantastic mentors so I can continue to learn how to be the best advocate I can be for my son. It is definitely a learning experience, all around, and I am thankful that I have the chance to learn as I go. 

My kids need a strong example to follow.

More than anything, I want my kids to grow up to be confident participants in their communities. They have watched and listened to me make phone calls to Senators, they have asked about the countless emails I have sent, and they have participated in our video messages to our elected officials whom we tag on my social media profiles. I want them to know that their voices can make a difference, no matter what the issue is, and that it is their responsibility and privilege to speak up. They are already on their way to becoming awesome advocates, and I could not be more excited and proud. 

Advocacy, no matter how big or small, can be stressful and tiring. Often times, I am tempted to put off an email to my son's school or a call to my Senator because I am exhausted. But, knowing the impact that can be made, I trudge on, hoping that my quiet, non-confrontational self can make a difference. If nothing else, I have a story to tell, a story that continues to unfold, day after day. Perhaps by sharing a bit of this story, others will be inspired to speak up for those who can't yet speak up for themselves.

This is how change is made. Change is the ultimate goal of advocacy, and it is also the reward. 

Why I Advocate