Gate

Having a dog in a busy house doesn't bring about dramatic change. It's already loud and messy; what's one more creature running around?

Until that extra creature starts peeing on the floor when the kids get on her nerves.  Poor Maisey; every time the kids love on her too much, we find a puddle. We had her checked out at the vet; at first we thought she had a UTI. Nope, it's anxiety. 

I just decided to have the upstairs carpets cleaned yesterday; it's the only carpet in the house, and it needed help. After the cleaners left, I decided that the pup's days of upstairs freedoms are over, at least until she furthers adjusts to the kids (or they calm down, whichever comes first). We found a baby gate in the basement, and thought Maisey would appreciate that she could lounge on the couch at night, rather than sleeping in her crate. 

We went off to bed; shortly after, she started whining. That turned into crying, and eventually, barking. All. Night. Long. We also had both boys in our bed, courtesy of the windy weather. Awful. Mark and I got no sleep, at all. We are exhausted. 

But, the carpet is still clean, so we'll stick with it. Hopefully, tonight we'll get more sleep!

Underestimated

"And though she be but little, she is fierce." ~ William Shakespeare

So, I wrote about how amazing Addie and her friend are for establishing a project to share the importance of inclusion with their friends, and how their friends starting giving them donations for DSACO, Special Olympics, and the Miracle League.  Well, today, those efforts came to a screeching halt.

I received a phone call from Addie's teacher at 10am; she was out sick on Tuesday and Wednesday, and returned to school today to learn of these advocacy and fundraising efforts.  She panicked, a bit, and understandably so, I suppose.  Apparently, from the beginning of school to the time of our phone call, the girls had collected another $17.50.  Hearing this, my jaw dropped.  They had already collected close to $20 the previous days.  When Ad told me that they were collecting donations from their friends, I figured it was a dime here, a quarter there.  I mean, they're in second grade; why would they be taking cash to school? (Lunch money gets loaded onto a debit-type card.)

My anxiety kicked in. I figured her teacher was going to tell me that they couldn't collect any more money; she was probably just as concerned as I was about getting angry calls and emails from parents once they realized that their kids were giving their money away without first consulting them.  Our school has a lot of fundraisers (in addition to what our PTO does...it's truly overkill), and some parents went sideways last year when a new school fundraiser was announced.  (That is the reason I resigned from the PTO board this year; there was way too much drama and hate directed toward the board as a result of these new fundraisers.)  I was not about to deal with that all over again.  

After much thought, I emailed Ad's teacher and told her that I would advise Addie to call off the fundraising and just focus on the advocacy angle.  That was the most important aspect of this project, anyway.  I told her that we would donate the money that was already collected, and I had already said that I would provide receipts so that it was clear that the money was indeed donated.  You can imagine my surprise when Addie got off the bus this afternoon and burst into tears.

She managed to tell me that she had to give back all the donations that were collected, and then she ran to her room.  That mama bear instinct kicked right in; I was angry that instead of letting us handle the situation, the school had made Addie feel like she had done something wrong.

I do realize that there are rules and regulations for collecting money, and I respect those; I certainly did not anticipate this project causing any drama.  I didn't encourage her to solicit donations, but I didn't discourage it, either.  Again, in my mind, they would be dealing with a few dollars in change.  And, honestly, I thought they would lose interest in this fairly quickly, as most kids tend to do in situations like these.  

I felt bad; the situation sucks.  I want her to be proud of what she's doing, and encourage her to have the confidence to do something like this.  It's really quite remarkable that two second graders decided to take this on by themselves.  At the same time, I don't want her to get in trouble at school, and I don't want other families to be resentful that their kids are contributing to yet another fundraiser at school.  How do you relay that without squashing her enthusiasm?

We'll find other ways for her to help.  We've already encouraged her to continue to show her friends the importance of being inclusive toward everyone, and we'll help her find a way to financially contribute to these organizations (just not within the school!).  I've already talked to her about being my co-captain for Team Alex this year, and she was very excited about that idea.

I think the most important thing to take from this is to not underestimate what kids can do when they truly want to help.  As the mom of Ad's friend pointed out, these two will really be able to inspire others when they are older, based on what they've done this week.  Although Ad was so disappointed earlier today, it's still beyond amazing to think about what she might do from here.  

The possibilities are endless.  

Giving Hearts

I'm a proud mom; my kids are always doing things that are "Facebook worthy", and I post about them a lot. I have to see all their meltdowns, moments of defiance, and hear them whine and complain, so when they do something other than those things, I want everyone to know about it.  They are funny, thoughtful little creatures, and I like to share about them.  Hey, whatever gets a tired mom through the day, right?

Yesterday, I was so proud of Addie that I couldn't even express to her how amazing she is.  She arrived home from school, so excited to tell me all about a new project she and her friend decided to share with their friends.  "Mommy, you know how kids think that special needs kids are weird and different," she began (and yes, we later had a chat about how important it is to use person-first language...nobody gets a pass on that!). "Ok," I answered, wondering where she was going with this.  "Well, my friend and I decided that we need to help get these kids more included at school, so we went around asking our friends if they want to help us. We're also going to raise money for DSACO (the Down Syndrome Association of Central Ohio), Miracle League, and Special Olympics."

I just stood there, in awe of this little seven year old girl who has realized something that some adults still can't grasp: inclusion is important, and necessary.

I felt emotions ranging from pride, admiration, love, and back to pride again.  I listened to her go on and on about how her friends want to join Team Alex and come to the Buddy Walk, and how kids are just walking up to them and asking if they can make a donation.  She has absolutely no idea what kind of impact she and her friend are having on their peers.  They are teaching, by example, that everyone should be treated equally because we are all the same, and their peers are listening.

Two second grade girls are trying to change the world, or at least their world, by creating a more inclusive environment for kids at their school.  They have named their project Giving Hearts, and so far they've collected a little over $20, which they have decided to split among three organizations.  I'm still in awe.

Of course, I took to Facebook to share how great my kid is; not bragging, mind you, but truly sharing because I am just so impressed by the love Addie has for her brother, and the desire she has to see him being treated just like any other kid at their school.  What makes this even more remarkable is that he can be a complete jerk to her, several times a day, and she is still willing to do this for him.

After reading my post on Facebook, someone commented that Addie is her mother's child, and I was reminded once again that the kids are listening.  We've never sat down with Addie and Andrew and told them that their role is to spread our mission of inclusion.  She just gets it.  The girl can't remember to put her shoes away or put her dishes in the sink, but she is hearing the most important lessons.  Beyond that, she is sharing these things, completely unprompted by her parents, with her peers.

I can't wait to see what these girls can do with their Giving Hearts project.  When we open up registration for Team Alex 2014 on World Down Syndrome Day (March 21st), the Giving Hearts donation will be among the first to be posted on the Columbus Buddy Walk site.  Who knows what else they can accomplish?!

The kids are listening.  They may leave their dishes and shoes all over the house, but they are most definitely hearing the important stuff.  I'll gladly take the messy house if it comes with a kid with such a giving heart.

Laughter

I don't know why, but I've always found that jumping out and scaring the daylights out of someone is very, very funny.  It's so immature, but one of my favorite things to do is hide around the corner and wait for my husband, or one of the kids, to go walking by so I can surprise them.  The reactions are priceless, and then I just laugh and laugh.

It makes me giggle right now, thinking of all the times I've scared the crap out of my husband; he's the most fun to get, because he typically has a big reaction.  The kids are just as fun, but then they immediately want revenge, and we spend the rest of the day hiding in closets to scare each other.

Alex's new favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos, and we watch it every night. Tonight there was a segment where someone was scared while they were sleeping.  So. Stinking. Funny.  It reminded me of the time when Mark was startled awake by a chirping smoke alarm; he thought that Alex (a baby at the time) was in distress, and he shot straight up in the air out of bed and pulled the Fred Flintstone running-in-place bit.  When he finally took off, he hit his toe on the foot board, fell, and then ran into the door before making it out to Al's room to check on him.  After I quit laughing at him, we discovered he had really hurt himself; turned out, he broke his toe when he hit it on the bed.  (Seriously, I am so evil, because I almost pee myself just remembering this!)  If only I'd known that would all happen...we could have recorded it and cashed in on AFV!!

Of course, Mark would like everyone to know about the numerous times I've woken up, thinking that we were either being attacked by bombs or that spiders were crawling on me.  Funny, but definitely no where near as funny as the broken toe.  (Sorry, babe.)

I also find it funny when people fall down (after making sure that they are ok, of course!).  I might have serious issues.  I still giggle when I think of Mark testing out Alex's new scooter last summer, crashing it at the end of our driveway, and landing on his shoulder in the grass by the mailbox.  I really laugh when I consider how funny it was when I fell down the steps on the first night of Hanukkah back in November; I was carrying an armload of presents, which all flew up into the air as I landed on my ass on the bottom step.

Maybe I just need to set up surveillance cameras so we can catch one of these falls.  We are pretty clumsy. Bigger picture: I guess we should be thankful to have some moments of humor in our crazy, busy lives. Laughter is supposedly the best medicine, right?

Photos

It's Monday.  We're all tired, and maybe a little cranky.  What better time to look back through family photos...especially those that are hilarious?!?  Read on, and enjoy.

My family was complete with the arrival of our youngest son in December 2008.  We decided to commemorate the occasion with our first official family photo:

It went well, don't you think?  My daughter looks like she is vomiting, but she was meowing because at that time, she pretended to be a cat.  A lot.  Alex just didn't want to have his picture taken.

So, we tried again a few months later:

Addie was no longer a cat, but still wasn't thrilled about the picture.  And Alex...well, Al didn't want to sit for a photo, either.  

So, we tried again a few months later:

*sigh*

I was determined to sit and smile, dammit.

So, we tried again a few months later, this time in hopes of getting a nice holiday picture:

Seriously?!?

So, we tried again a few months later:

This one is definitely better.  Ok, maybe I just like my hair in this picture.  

SO, we tried AGAIN a few months later:

...and I totally take back what I said about liking my hair.  I think, though, that this was our holiday picture that year.  

SO, we tried AGAIN a couple years later:

And, we finally got a nice family photo.  We just had to wait almost five years, and go to the ocean to get it.  

Of course, I couldn't let the occasion go by without adding some snark:

Not sure if you can see it, but in this one, the chalkboard says "Really?"  

Although most of these wouldn't be considered "good pictures", I just love them all.  I need to get a frame that will hold all of them, so we can look back and smile at just how far we've come since that first photo attempt.  

Grocery

Grocery shopping is a chore.  I know that some people enjoy it, and honestly, I usually don't mind it too much.  Today, though, was one of those shopping trips that have you considering take out for every day of the week.

I prefer to shop by myself; that way, I can focus on my list and make sure to use my coupons.  If I have one of the kids with me, extra stuff (usually junk food) ends up in my cart.  When all five of us go, it's just a circus.  I planned to go by myself today, but at the last minute, Alex asked if he could go with me.  He likes to help me at the store, so I agreed and he happily joined me.

We did fairly well in the produce section; he selected some nice apples and grapes. He looked around for a cookie sample in the bakery, but discovered that they were only offering sugar cookies today, so he decided to wait and eat some cheese from the deli.

Oh, the cheese.  That's where the shopping trip took a nasty turn.

Alex used to eat cheese, then outgrew it (he tends to do that with foods; he'll eat something and then, for no reason, refuse to eat it anymore).  Lately, though, he has been eating the colby jack cheese from the deli. This is something we regularly buy, so that works out well.  We went to the deli counter, where he discovered that there was a line; looking back, that could have been the trigger for the meltdown that would soon begin.  Fortunately, though, we didn't wait long, and I ordered our cheese (I use it to make "Mommy Mac" for No Meat Monday).  He waited, somewhat patiently, for his shopping snack.  For no apparent reason, though, he dropped to the floor when I tried to hand him the cheese, because it wasn't "all orange". Ugh.  Not ten minutes in the store, and there we were, the center of attention.  Thinking quickly, I asked him to show me which cheese he wanted; he pointed out a round swiss, because it was a circle.  I pointed out that it wasn't orange, though, so then he picked out a colby, because it was orange...but it wasn't round. After putting him back on his feet (I have little tolerance for the flop 'n drop routine, and I always help him stand back up), we finally found an orange, circle cheese, and I asked for a few slices (since I already stocked up on the colby jack).  The lady kindly handed Al a slice, with a hopeful look on her face...but down he went, again.  Seriously?!?  I was out of patience by then, we had a small audience, and we had barely started on our grocery list.  It was time to move on.

I managed to get Al away from the deli, and after giving him a few minutes to bounce back (he didn't), I hauled him into the back of the cart and went on my merry way.

Al did eventually snap back to his typical self, and helped me finish the shopping.  But, when it was time to check out, he wanted to help bag the groceries (the people at the store are always great about letting him help).  Today, though, he was too shy to ask if he could help, so I did it for him, but then he wouldn't take two steps away from me to put things in bags.  So, of course, when we were finished checking out, he started in on another tantrum.  "Nope," I told him, and took his hand, leading him out of the store and to the car.

That was the longest, most frustrating shopping trip I've had in a long time. I think the long weekend off school is taking a toll on the poor kid.  I know for sure that I'll be doing the shopping on my own next time. Until then, I will enjoy our well-stocked kitchen...and the pint of Graeter's I threw in the cart mid-tantrum.

Lost

We are a very busy family.  Hectic schedules, active kids, and a too-small house contribute to the chaos that we face on a daily basis.  Not such a big deal, until something goes missing.

We are constantly losing things.  And it makes me crazy.

Glasses, socks, wallets, keys, important papers, toys, phones...and most recently, my checkbook.  Blerg!

This latest misplacement has me especially distraught, mostly because I know I saw the stinking thing in my purse the other day and I specifically remember thinking "I should take that out of there before I lose it".  I rarely write checks; if I do, I write them at home and then immediately send them off wherever they need to go.  I have no need to write a check on the spot; now that most places take debit cards, there's just no reason to have it on me all the time.  For some unknown reason, I grabbed the whole thing the last time I needed to write a check.  You can bet, from now on, I'll take extra care in putting it right back where it belongs.

I come from a long line of worriers.  I am envisioning someone on a huge shopping spree right now (ha, joke's on them, because that particular checkbook is for my business account, which doesn't hold much money because I filter it out shortly after it goes in), and I will obsess about it...well, probably forever.  Or at least until it's found.  The odds of that aren't good, though.

In the almost 11 years that we've lived in this house, several things have seemingly disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again.  Let's hope that my stupid checkbook is around here somewhere.