Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Advocacy Doesn't Get a Holiday

When one of your children has disabilities, holidays may not always resemble the traditional celebrations that others enjoy. Independence Day, with all its patriotic fanfare, can be an absolute nightmare for a child with sensory sensitivities (and also for their families). 

For several years, my family has not attended community fireworks displays because the crowds and sounds have just been too much for my son. We have also spent time apart on the holiday so that I could take the younger kids to the parade. This year, we decided to try to spend the holiday together. We decided to watch a local fireworks display at an off-site location, one that was just far away enough to see everything but with a fraction of the noise. We also took a big leap of faith and attended a parade as a family. This was an even bigger deal, because my son tends to associate parades with sirens (as the police cars and fire trucks participate in the parade, and those sirens are just too much for him), but we figured we should give it a try this year. Although he struggled at the beginning of both of these events, he was eventually able to relax and enjoy them, and now even uses words like "awesome" and "best ever" to describe them. That is a major milestone for us!

While we found a way to celebrate the holiday this year, we are still dealing with sensory issues in our own home. Neighbors who choose to terrorize the most vulnerable residents of our community with their illegal fireworks, in order to satisfy their pyromaniac tendencies, make a challenging holiday exponentially worse for families like mine. Last week, after many rounds of pro-firework vs anti-firework posts on our neighborhood Facebook page, it was suggested that we confront neighbors who choose to ignore the laws regarding fireworks, rather than posting passive aggressive complaints online. Last night, I found myself in that situation. I was angry because my kid (and dog!) were terrified, and I decided to address it directly rather than post in the Facebook group and inevitably cause another battle. When I approached a group of neighbors to inquire how much longer their obnoxious antics (which took place one block from my house, sounded way louder than the community display we watched, and caused mass hysteria) would last, I was verbally attacked. They belligerently told me to "relax, it's the 4th of July," and "it's my right as a Vet to celebrate my freedom." When I explained that my son also has rights, the gentleman who described himself as a Vet called me an a**hole. There was absolutely no compassion, no apology, and no respect.  

I was shocked and upset. I wasn't trying to kill their fun; I was requesting that they observe the laws regarding fireworks. They could have celebrated at one of many fireworks displays around town. Their good time should not have superseded common courtesies. My responsibility is to my kids; if I can advocate for my son and raise awareness of a situation (as I know that others in our neighborhood are also struggling with the noisy amateur fireworks), then I will absolutely do it. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own homes, and yes, that includes people with disabilities. 


Now more than ever, we need to be civil to one another. Acting in kindness would be ideal, but if that is too difficult, I implore you to at least be respectful. When you are stubbornly insisting that you have a right to engage in illegal behavior that is scaring children with disabilities, there is a major problem. If pointing that out to you makes me an "a**hole," then fine, yeah: I'm an a**hole. It's probably not the first time I've been called a name because I've stood up for my kid, and it probably won't be the last time, either.


Waiting for the July 4th parade to begin

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