Thank You, Barbara

Technology is great, until it doesn't work the way it it should; I think we'd all agree on that. We had one of those issues last night, when we discovered our satellite was no longer working. No TV on a Monday night? That meant missing Dancing with the Stars, which in this house is just unacceptable.

I checked all the cables, and the satellite dish itself, and concluded that either the dish is fried, or that there was some universal issue with DirecTV. I just didn't have it in me to call customer service last night, so I just checked out the DirecTV Facebook page to see if anyone else was reporting a similar issue. They weren't (why would it be that easy??), but they were reporting awful instances of long hold times and rude representatives.

I was so not looking forward to making that call to DirecTV for help.

Of course, most people only post things like that when they are unhappy, so I realized that there were probably many more happy customers than unhappy. I still didn't have the energy to deal with it. I decided to just stream Netflix from my phone and hope that the satellite would magically fix itself.

That didn't happen.

So, this afternoon I reluctantly dialed the customer service number, bracing myself for many minutes of awful hold music. Surprisingly, though, I got through to a representative not long after I dialed in. That was all well and good, but certainly I wouldn't luck out twice, so I anticipated being met with a grumpy, impatient rep on the other end of the call.

Wrong, again.

A lovely rep, Barbara in Mississippi, walked me through several troubleshooting tips, but we had no luck. Just as she was trying to determine how quickly she could get a tech out to service the equipment, Alex started pulling on my arm.

"Mommy!! Tell her it was working yesterday, and then it didn't, and I couldn't watch Dancing with the Stars!!"

Barbara heard Alex repeat this statement many times before commenting on my "little helper", and she asked how old he is. I figured that she thought he was much younger, so I told her that he's 11, but that he has Down syndrome, and that he was just furious that he had to miss his favorite show. She laughed, then paused and said "If it makes you feel any better, my sister has Down syndrome, so I completely understand that."

She went on to schedule our service call, then thanked me for calling in today, saying that she "really needed this call". Her sister had been on her mind lately, she said, and she was happy to learn about Alex. She then told me that we could stream DWTS on the computer so he wouldn't have to miss tonight's two hour episode, and then she wrapped up by saying "Kiss your angel for me!"

I always find it interesting how we make these random connections with others in the Down syndrome community, seemingly just by luck. Last night, as Alex helped me pay for something, we learned that the gentleman helping us has a brother with Down syndrome. He beamed as he spoke with Alex; I could tell that he is quite fond of his brother. We could have picked up dinner from a number of places, but we were drawn to that restaurant, where this gentleman chatted with Alex. I could have called DirecTV last night, but I might not have been able to connect with Barbara. I'm glad these things worked out the way they did.

Thank you, Barbara, for your excellent service (and I will make sure that DirecTV knows about this, too). Alex quite happily watched clips from DWTS on his iPad tonight, although he made it quite clear that he misses watching it on the real TV. I guess the die-hard fans are a little particular about how they watch their favorite shows, right?

He's Faking It

Alex and the coveted basketball

Tonight, the boys and I headed over to the mall for dinner in the food court, as part of a school event. We had a relaxing meal with friends, then made our way to the book store for story time with the teachers. Both kids enjoyed their leisurely strolls up and down the aisles in the children's section of the store, eventually choosing a couple of titles to take home. (I mean, they were excited over books. BOOKS! And, it benefited the school. How could I say no to that?!? Well played, school.)

Once I finally convinced the boys that it was time to leave, we attempted to make an exit from the mall, but we were sucked into a new store. Mesmerized by the glowing basketball in the shiny new Dick's Sporting Goods sign, the kids made a beeline into the tidy rows of athletic wear. Alex declared that he was looking for a new basketball, and then told me I could buy it for him.

Enter teachable moment. Or so I thought...

After finding a ball he liked (a nice Under Armour basketball), Al started making his way to the check out. "Hang on there, dude. I am not buying a new basketball for you tonight. It's nice, but we'll have to get it another day. Let's put it back."

"Nope," came his quick reply. "I'll buy it with my own monies."

I sighed. Loudly. It had been a long day, and it wasn't over yet. "How about we tell Santa?", I almost-too-desperately called after him. He stopped. Score!!

"Yes. Let's take a picture and email it to Santa!" Alex was elated. I thought of the cute blog post I could whip up after the kids fell asleep tonight. Win win, right?

We snapped the photo, and I again asked him to put the ball away. "Nope. I gotta give it to a guy."

Here we go. I was just plain exasperated at this point. I was losing this battle. I figured I should just hear him out and let him give the stinking ball back to someone who worked there, and decided to chalk it up as an opportunity to practice social skills.

He marched right up to a sales associate, and no sooner than the guy said "Hey, buddy!" did Al hold that ball out and say "I want this for Christmas. Will you tell Santa?"

Up went my left eyebrow, and I frantically looked up at the sales guy. His reaction was going to make an important impression on Alex. Please don't blow this, Mr Sales Guy.

"I will tell Santa!! I will go call him right now!" The guy didn't miss a beat. Al beamed. I let out the breath that I didn't realize I was holding until then.

I suggested, for the third time, that Alex put the ball back on its shelf. As he triumphantly marched away, I looked at the sales guy and said "Thanks! I appreciate your response to him," and turned to watch Al make his way back towards me.

Later, after finally dragging them out of the mall, Alex and I were waiting while Andrew got his hair cut. Al was flipping through the photos on my phone, and stopped on the picture we had just taken earlier, with the basketball.

"How cool is it that the guy called Santa to tell him about this ball?!?" Apparently, I thought it was way cooler than Al did, because he quickly responded.

"Nah. He was faking it."

I let that statement fall flat, which took a lot of effort, because I guess I'm not ready for Alex to let go of Santa quite yet. It could easily happen at this point, for any of my kids, as they are all getting older. Too old, and too smart, for their own good.

Whether he truly still believes or not, I really do appreciate the sales guy (Tommy, at the Polaris store, if anyone local is wondering) for his quick thinking and cooperation. There aren't many that would have played along, but he did, and that was very cool.

And yes, I will go back for the ball, so that Santa really can leave it under our tree for Alex...

I'm Back, Baby

So, yeah. In 2014, I vowed to blog every day, and I did it, posting 365 times. Now, in 2015, I've posted twice (including this one). Such is life, right? But, I miss my daily writing ritual, and while I can't promise to publish something every day, I do hope to get back into the habit.

You'll have to excuse the dust; not much has been going on around here lately. In fact, my last attempt at sharing my gift of snark was back in January, after which I quickly learned that those who criticize anything Disney related are not received well on social media. I will (probably) refrain from discussing my thoughts on that topic, in the near future, at least.

I look forward to writing again, and I have dreams of creating a much bigger duck pond for us to hang out in as we laugh about my daily adventures. Until later, friends.

Yours in chaos,

Jen

How to Book a Vacation in 205 Easy Steps

Vacations, while well deserved and exciting, can also be very overwhelming...especially when you are in the planning stages. Add in a child with special needs, and the whole process becomes exponentially more difficult. Never fear, though! After deciding to take the kids on a fun-filled trip to Disney World this spring, and experiencing the joy of planning the adventure, I've put together a handy list to help you plan your own magical vacation.

1. Decide to (finally) take a vacation and return to the "happiest place on earth". I mean, it's been five years, so you can surely suck it up and have some "fun", right?

2-52. Change your mind. Fifty times. Your thoughts should alternate between "Who in their right mind would spend that kind of money on a vacation?!?" and "The kids are only little once, and we've been promising a return trip. We're going."

53. Ask your partner to research resorts and travel packages. Wait a week and ask again.

54. Refuse to look at the information your partner has found, because it's Disney, and You. Just. Can't.

55. Repeat steps 2-52 again.

105. Decide, again, that you really should go, and freak out in front of your partner because now you've waited so late that you probably won't get character dining reservations and you've probably ruined your children's magical adventure.

106. Apologize to your partner.

107. Find a place to board the dog. I mean, if no one can take care of the pup while you're gone, then you can't go anyway.

108. Book luxury accommodations for the dog. At least she'll enjoy her vacation.

109. Look at the Disney website for the eight zillionith time and finally decide on a resort.

110. Pour over the list of dining options, try to decipher which one has which character experiences, get mad because the website does not give enough information, and then throw the keyboard out of desperation.

111. Sit in the corner, softly beat your head against the wall and hum "It's a Small World" quietly, to yourself.

112. Apologize to your partner...again.

113. Discover the chat feature on the Disney website. Inundate the customer service representative with questions, and imagine that he is now banging his head against the wall.

114. Stay up all night, unable to sleep because you're immediately regretting your decision.

115. Spend the next eight weeks obsessing over the plans you've made. Will the park be too overwhelming for your kiddo with special needs? Will anyone have any fun? Will you find enough wine in or around the theme parks?!?

116-201: Read every Disney blog you can find. Decide that you're the worst Disney vacation planner ever, threaten not to go, change your mind and reassure yourself that it will all be just fine. Repeat 85 times.

202. Try to find matching Disney themed outfits for your entire family. Give up. Nobody will see past their adorably smiling faces in the photos, anyway.

203. Worry incessantly about the lack of accommodations for your child with special needs. Get angry at all the people who pretended to need special accommodations and ruined it for those of us who truly need them. Fantasize that those people step in gum the next time they go to Disney.

204. Finally, finally, finally book all your reservations. Take many, many deep breaths.

205. Repeat as many times as often: "It will be a magical vacation. It will be a magical vacation."

See how easy it is? Best of luck in your planning.