Never Try to Eat All the Cookies

So, earlier I declared today Pajama Day, and decided I might eat all the leftover Christmas cookies. While I didn't eat all of them, I ate way too many and now regret it. Here is why you should never try to eat all the cookies:

When you try to eat all the cookies you end up feeling like a lazy blob, and you crash on the couch. 

When you crash on the couch, the kids think you are sleeping and try to get away with murder. 

Ok, maybe not murder, but Alex will open the back gate and let the dog escape. 

When the dog escapes, you have to chase her down the street...in your pajamas (because you declared today Pajama Day). 

Because you are chasing her in your pajamas, all the neighbors are outside to watch, because of course. 

Because they are watching, the dog is stubborn and you have to pick her up and haul her home (she is a big dog). 

While you struggle down the street, in your pajamas with the dog, your husband will text you from home. He'll text "need help", but forget the question mark and accidentally text it to his mother first. 

Because she receives a random text for help, she thinks Mark is in danger and is understandably worried. She calls all the cell phones to make sure everyone is ok. 

You finally stumble through the front door, with the dog, and collapse on the couch and refuse to make dinner because you might vomit because you tried to eat all the cookies. 

Trust me on this: do not try to eat all the cookies. It's so not worth it.